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She then decided I needed gagging to help with the pain inflicted. I opened my mouth and a ball gag was stuffed in my mouth and fastened behind my head securely. She explained that she would do these slowly so that I had a few seconds between each stroke to recover somewhat. My god those following strokes were extremely painful and after 4 I wanted it to stop. There was no stopping though as I had given my consent to receive the full 10 strokes. When the towel was removed I again was shown a photo on her phone showing my arse in full striped glow. I was given a few minutes to reflect on the pain and she gently rubbed my arse commenting on the fact that she thought I had done well and this would definitely help me. I was released and then she fastened leg stirrups into the stool and converted it into a gynae couch. I got onto it sitting at the very end and told to lie back as she lifted my legs up into the stirrups. They were now spread that bit furthur so that my arse and genitals. I immediately assumed he was overdosing. There’d been a few times before we thought the same thing. This time though, it seemed scarier. More real. There was more truth. We left the house, and my heart was filled with anger, rage, and resentment. I wanted him to feel as bad as I did. I was going to that hospital to let him, the man that gave me 50% of my life, have a piece of my mind. My phone rang again, and my boyfriend tricked me into pulling into the parking lot of a Bob Evan’s. Funny, I doubt I’ll ever eat there again. He looked me in the eyes, and delivered the blow that shattered my heart. My dad had not made it. I felt my chest tighten and squeeze with the knowledge, and felt like my heart was scrambling, trying to get the pieces gathered back together. Not to fix itself you see, for it was too new, but so all the pieces would be there when one day, eventually, I could heal. ‘We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.’ ~Kenji Miyazawa After my boyfriend held.
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