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But very quickly the dynamic changed, and Jay became pretty strict with me, ordering me around, yelling at me when I fucked up, even grabbing me and shaking me during arguments. Then he began slapping me. I just figured that, in our relationship, someone had to be the husband, and someone else the wife. And there was no doubt who was who in our situation. I mean, Jay was always apologetic after a fight, especially if he had given me a black eye or a fat lip, and the makeup sex was really hot. In some ways it excited me when he got angry and hit me, because it made me feel secure in the sense that I knew he loved me. I had seen the same dynamic in my mother's relationship with Monica - who was definitely the "man" in that.One night Jay took me to the city to a club called Port Authority. I was young, and I looked even younger, but the staff knew Jay, and my going in was never a problem. In fact I saw a lot of very young guys in there - always twinks - like me. They'd be in there with. I had thoughtthat one day I would be Charles again, and my life would return to normal.I never imagined a year, or two, much less forever. I never imagined theymight permanently physically alter me so I could never be normal. I couldonly shake my head as the tears continued to flow."Tomorrow you will call and resign permanently from your job. You willapply for a permanent name from Clark White to Carly Boi White, and allyour accounts and mail will be under your new name. You will meet withyour brother and sisters, and reveal what you have become now. Your sexualrelease will be strictly governed, sissygasms will be your lot, and youwill learn how to seek and enjoy them as you once sought and enjoyed maleejaculation.You will continue at the Ramrod for now, but just Saturdays, and in a muchmore controlled fashion. You will be taught to dance and stripprofessionally, and will be working around the area in strip clubs for us.Yes you will probably see some of your buddies eventually. That.
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