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Finally, I realized she was usually getting off from this, but I was not getting anything from her in return. When I asked her to rub me or touch me, she would then break things off and say we better stop before someone walked in on us. I hadn’t had to deal with anything like that since high school.I found myself aching constantly in the groin from a bad case of the ‘blue balls'. Worse, there was no opportunity for me to do anything about it as there was rarely any privacy as I always shared a tiny hotel room with several other guys. I had not found an opportunity to masturbate and relieve my agony until one day in agonizing desperation, I found a public restroom with individual stalls.. As quickly and quietly as I could I masturbated while standing up in the stall. By that time I had become so sore from the blue balls that the orgasm actually hurt, but it did provide some much needed temporary relief.By then I was really getting tired of Bethany’s immature approach to sex, so I. It'll be like an umbrella to shelter any person who has any 'problems' with his or her sexuality. There won't be any sexist or racist or fascist bastards to persecute anybody for being gay or lesbian or transsexual or transvestite or anything. Just remember how you were made to feel vulnerable and threatened when you came out as a lezzie at the FreeThinkers Journal; and that's a liberal intellectual organization!" I thought back to exactly that time. How people made snide remarks behind my back how hushed conversations were shut down when ever I approached; how little sniggers and titters followed my every step. The worst of it was that up until my fall-out with my boyfriend, I had still had some bisexual leanings. It had wounded me deeply to learn that the one boyfriend I thought I could rely on for support had betrayed me and rejected me out of hand when I had 'come out'. It had made my life a hell. Strangely in my own factories, I had not adopted Beverly's ideas.
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