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‘Oh, he was so brave. He was so holy. He died for our sins! What a great man he was.’ You eat that shit up like it’s candy. I’ve got a billion people wasting their Sunday mornings going to church and singing boring-ass hymns about you. People on the west-coast sacrifice NFL kickoff for you, so don’t say I didn’t show gratitude!” “You know what?” Jesus said to the fuming God, “I don’t need this shit right now. C’mon, Rachel, let’s get out of here.” I stared dumbfoundedly at the flustered face of God and the grinning face of Lucy. This had to be a test. Lucy and Jesus planned this ahead of time to test my faith. It must be. There’s no way Jesus was telling the truth…“You should go,” Lucy smiled, patting my shoulder, “you kids have fun.”“OK…” I said, getting up from the chair and taking Jesus’s arm. Jesus walked us briskly out of the restaurant and onto the streets of hell. “Can you believe the balls on that woman?” Jesus said angrily as he gave the valet his ticket, “Calling me a. Now, I have the body I’ve always wanted. Though I was thrilled, I wasn’t quite as emotional as the women and girls become when they receive body modification. I’ve seen all the sports jocks my age working out and training, and every last one of them will now look like ninety pound weaklings compared to my physique.“Do you mind if we use these swings next to you?” The tall blonde asked as she and her cousin turned to sit in the two empty swings to my left. I wasn’t sure if they meant to, or it just happened, but both their short skirts flipped up so they could sit on the wooden seat with their bikini panties. Yep, I was watching as they twisted their swing to sit facing me.“Heck no. I just got here myself.”“Oh, we thought you were watching over your younger sisters over there.”“Nawww. Those young cuties were really swinging high when I first got here, so I decided to sit, swing, and play my flute.”“So, you like looking at that Young Stuff, do you?”“Well, I love looking at all the.
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