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R and asked her did she arrive with anyone? she answered no, I then asked if she would be alright with my receptionist sitting in with us. She said she would feel better if she did, so I asked my receptionist to join us, which she did bringing with her two cups of chamomile tea giving one to Ms. R and placing the other on the coffee table between our chairs and in front of the couch she took a seat on the couch close to me she smiled at Ms. R and told her she gets to sit in with clients from time to time and enjoys the benefit of the hypnosis sessions. once the women drank their tea and Ms. R was ready we began the session, I had the note pad for reference and worked off of it in getting the woman to relax taking her deeper and deeper into trance as her breathing became slow deep and rhythmic I began giving her suggestions that heightened the sensitivity of her sexual organs to being touched. I then suggested she could feel tingling in her sexual organs and feel my voice resonating. I pay for everything and run from the restaurant. I go home and cry myself to sleep. I never see David again although I do receive an invitation to his wedding. It is the same woman. I discard it fiercely. As autumn turns to winter my mood changes to leaden depression. There are many days I don't get up except to read my mail. Nothing but junk and bills. I pay the bills morosely. When I go to bars it is to get drunk and be picked up. I spend a lot of time in strange beds with men I don't remember meeting. I don't even feel anything with them. I will never be a real woman anyway. I never bring anyone home. I hardly talk except for what's necessary. I wish something new would happen to me. I again consider seeing a psychiatrist. It seems like too much trouble. I discard all thought of change. I eat, drink, weep, and provide a receptacle for men who are doing the same. Sometimes I can get up enough energy to watch TV. I never remember afterwards what I have seen. News, old movies,.
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