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This was going tobe a critical day for me. Not only would I bespending all day as my femme self, but I would have tobe particularly convincing while going to my therapysession. The last thing I needed was that someonewould "read" me, while downtown. I mean, if I weregoing to be a caricature of a female, it wouldn'tmatter if I were "read" or not. Since I was takingthe, to me, daring step of trying to appear as REAL asI could, if I WERE "read", it would be disastrous bothfor my plans and for my mental well being. The morning of Halloween, my friend arrived at mydoor at 830 A.M. to begin my makeover. She broughtwhat looked like an oversized tackle box full ofmakeup and applicators and, well, a lot of things Ihad never seen before and had NO clue about! She toldme to sit down, close my eyes, and follow herinstructions. Well, I am many things but a fool isNOT one of them! I sat there with my eyes closed andfollowed orders! I can't even begin to remember allof what she did but an hour. "Why won't the light come on?"My eyes just wouldn't open, they couldn't open, the darkness itself was keeping them closed, the thing in my hand moved, it seemed to be squeezing my hand, not unpleasantly, no it was comforting somehow, I wanted to see it, but I couldn't!"Danny" the voice again,"Danny, wake up darling, come back to me, please Danny, don't leave me like this"If I could just open my eyes, I could but a name to the voice, it sounded nice, nice and soft and gentle, I wanted to meet the owner of that voice!"Danny you bastard, if you die, I'll--, I'll bloody well kill you!"The wetness dripped onto my face, Christ I was thirsty! If only someone would turn the bloody lights on, I could ask them for a drink of water!They must have heard me, but it wasn't the light that needed to be turned on, it was a dimmer switch that must have been on low, it took a long time to come on though and when it did finally come on fully I saw her, it was her tears that were dripping on my cheek!Oh.
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