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She could see the hurt in Jay’s eyes, how she wanted to hold him telling Jay everything would be ok, but everything would not be ok, she could not bring his father back. She suffered through the holidays alone without her husband or her son, but it was even worse for Jay at his young age, he no longer had a dad and as for Barbara she was no longer his mother. The months that followed were the most difficult for Barbara with Jay refusing to allow her to be part of his life. What had she done? Jay was right, it was all her fault, if only she had stayed with Sam, sought counseling, done something, anything but be the reason Sam’s pain was so unbearable that he felt ending his life was the only solution. How could she have been so vain, so self-absorbed? For more than nine months Jay continued to shut his mom out of his life rejecting her attempts to have contact with him. The only information Barbara received about her son was through her parents, Jay’s grandparents, he insisted he. ‘And Matthews?’ ‘Sir?’ ‘If it gets too crazy here, you get out.’ ‘Excuse me sir?’ ‘You heard me,’ he says sounding a little irritated.’You get out of here.’ ‘You know I’m not leaving the team behind,’ she protests. Anger rises in Nash’s voice. ‘You will get the fuck out and that’s an order.’ Without another word he switches back over to their regular frequency. ‘Bridges, Mason, let me know when you’ve reached your goal. We’ll strike together. Matthews be ready.’ Each member gave their confirmation. He knows if Matthews wished to argue the matter she’d wait until after the mission was over. Nash was fairly certain the mission would go without a hitch, but there is something nagging at the back of his mind and it is enough to slither in and cast just a little doubt. He pushes aside the thoughts and crawls out on his belly into the open grass toward a large fallen tree. The tree itself looks like something large had slammed into it and forced it over until the tree ripped leaving a torn.
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