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Alice's POVI can tell Chuck has a lot on his mind. He's probably feeling guilty about his wife and my husband, but I'm thinking about how to broach a certain topic with him. With his wife at stage three of her disease, I know the odds are pretty good that he hasn't had sex with her for quite a while. I start to ask how she's doing, but I know that's the wrong question so I hesitate and then sigh. Finally, I just blurt out, "Tell me, friend, how long has it been since you've had the main course?" My question startles him. "I know it has to be difficult for you. I watched my brother go through it. He was frustrated." I can't even remember, Alice. Months for sure, maybe six." If you'll wear a condom, that dry spell can end tonight." Geez, Alice. I figured you for more of the romantic type." Not tonight, Chuck. I know when a friend is hurting and I can help." Well I'll wear a condom it you want, but I'm snipped..." Snipped?" Uh, vasectomy." Chuck, I really don't want to break that promise. Well I've seen better. I've had younger and prettier women ... lots of them. In a few years you'll be too old to even be on TV. What will you do then? I'll tell you what you'll do ... You'll wish you had listened to me, that's what. And you know what else? Your boobs are starting to sag and your ass is fatter than it looked a few years ago when you were still young." Thanks for pointing all of that out to me," I said. By that time the bartender was back and she gestured for the bouncer who came and dragged the man still kicking and screaming out of the bar."He was a nutcase," said the bartender. She was a woman in her mid twenties. "You know, when I was younger I wanted to be just like you." So what happened?" I asked."Ahhh, college was boring. And journalism and communications just weren't as cool as I thought they'd be," she said. "I took a break to get my head together and started working here to make ends meet and observe life while I was trying to become the next Barbara Walters.
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