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I sleepily reach for my cell phone on the night stand, which is only inches away from my face. I swipe the screen with an index finger and give a one eyed wink at the screen to see the time. 7:19 AM. The Eurostar train that I hope to take to Paris today has already departed almost an hour ago, and is close to reaching Gare du Nord. Dammit. In my next thought, I remind myself that I'm on holiday, and I refuse to get worked up about my indulgent slumber. No Paris today. Today will be a remix. Since my plans have already been dashed, I consider, and even welcome the opportunity to close my eyes. Having been in London for only two days now, last night was my first night of full rest. I don't need further convincing, and I drift easily back to sleep. Ninety minutes or so later, hunger wakes me up and another wink at my cell phone confirms that I have about forty five minutes left before the hotel's buffet breakfast downstairs is over. I make myself presentable in comfy yoga pants, a. The goon came back with a folder. I took it, opened it up, and wasgreeted by a large glossy photograph of me in my very revealing bikini.My pose was less overtly sexual, but that was largely because it wasphysically possible. I recognized the shot. I'd let an ex snap it a fewyears back, and as far as I knew I had the only copy. Our breakup hadbeen mutual, and I'd watched him delete his version. Besides, we stilltalked and were on good terms. There was no way he'd have released it onthe web, let alone somehow tricked me into getting it airbrushed on mycar.Under the photo was a form with flowery descriptions of my features,written out like terrible erotica. It described things like "amazinglyample yet perky bosom," "face like worthy of the goddess of supermodels,"and "sumptuous curves to put a stripper to shame." Brushing aside theunwelcome pride at how well I fit some of those descriptions, Irecognized that it was all in my handwriting, even the signature at thebottom. The only thing.
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