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”“Those fourteen burglaries — not the two with the moving vans — had one intriguing thing in common.”“You’ve always liked the word ‘intriguing.’ Even back when you were a rook.”It was true, sometimes I looked for complicated solutions to simple problems. Most perps weren’t criminal geniuses. That was why they were crooks.I said, “Each of the fourteen couples used valet parking.”Louise was suddenly still. Her eyes looking somewhere far off. I knew what she was thinking. A valet attendant had solitary access to a car. House keys were often on the same ring as car keys. The glovebox might contain personal info, like the home address.She shook her head, smiled ruefully, “It was under our noses the whole time. No, not the whole time, but after five or six incidents we should have tumbled.”Louise frowned, “But the Intercontinental uses hotel valets. The Plaza restaurants use Lanier Parking in all those garages.”I nodded, my thought process too. “I think there’s one guy behind all of it.. Greg had to deal with being used as a urinal a couple more times before he had to go himself. It flowed over his stomach and chest before going down the drain and into the tank below him.He must’ve fallen asleep as the next thing he heard was Craig shouting good morning to him. Another blast of very strong piss came through followed by the feeling of the box shaking as Craig sat down. There were a few farts followed by shit filling his mouth again. This was a lot less solid than last time but tasted even worse.As soon as he was finished Craig stood up and looked down the tube. It looked full of sludge but to his amusement he could see Greg’s tongue gradually show itself as the shit was swallowed down. Craig’s stomach couldn’t handle either the smell or image this early in the morning though so he put the lid down and left Greg to it.Once he’d properly woken up Craig decided to go online and see if Greg was alone in this bizarre desire or if there’ a bigger community that had similar.
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