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“When I’m with her I feel something I don’t feel with anyone else, not even you. The sex was never quite right though; I mean, I liked it, I even had orgasms. But it wasn’t like the kind you give me. I’m not sure I’m really gay.”“So why not just keep it platonic with her?” I asked.“She doesn’t want that.” Mira said, “Maliah wants to sleep with me.”I could see she was conflicted, and I was too. I love Mira, but it has to end. Better a clean break now, I figured, while we’re still friends.“It’s ok with me if you sleep with her.” I said, “You can have us both.”Even as I said it I knew it was dumb; like Luisa keeps saying, I need to settle down with a suitable woman, and here I was stretching out my affair with a 20 year old who had just told me she loves someone else.“Maliah won’t accept that.” Mira said.“So you asked her already?”“Yes.”“So you’re moving out?”“I was thinking to wait until next week, when the semester ends.” She said, and she turns her eyes on me.Fuck, man; the eyes.. The fact that you became so good at hiding things from me — and that you still seem to be willing to do that — makes it very difficult for me to allow you that power again." But I'm not the same person," Julie said. "We spent 11 years together. We were committed to each other." Really?" I wondered. "Did that seem like a commitment to you? Listen, perhaps we're going about this the wrong way. You say you base your ideal relationship on what you put into your strip. Tell me more about that? Does it include hiding things? Does it include refusing to listen to another side of things? Tell me what you expect from me and maybe I can give you a better idea of whether I can meet those ideals."Julie's eyes narrowed and she tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling."Well, first off Adam is based on the David I remember not the David that is here now," she said. "That casts a different light on things. Your personality is harder than it used to be. I'm sure I'm responsible for some of it.
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