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"Jamie was bragging to me again about the things that she had done, and I told her, 'You think I'm a baby, but I know more stuff than you do!' She said that wasn't true, and I said, 'I'll bet I'm even a better kisser than you!'"She wouldn't believe me, and she said I couldn't prove it. I said that I would, and she asked how. I didn't know, so she said I should kiss her and pretend it was a boy. I didn't want her to show me up, so I did it. I kissed her like you taught me, sir, and I showed her! She thought she was so good but she knew that I was better!"She asked me how I knew how to kiss so well, but I wouldn't tell her. She said I had probably just kissed other girls, so it didn't count. I said that I didn't, but she said I couldn't know about men as much as she could. I said, 'I know all about men, and not boys! You think just because you jerked off a boy you're so hot?'"She said, 'At least I jerked off a boy! I bet you never did!' and I told her, 'Yeah, I bet you never sucked off. "You've got yours then?" Last year," I admitted."It must have been a relief." It was," I said with a sigh. "I had one professor on my committee who not only challenged my conclusions and research, but argued that some of my commas should have been semi-colons." Sounds like fun." I've had better weeks." What are you doing now?" she asked."Teaching some classes." I swallowed. "And hoping to take a beautiful doctoral candidate to dinner." Good luck. Anyone I know?"I thought about making a break for it, but the way the sun highlighted her hair was almost magical."You." Why me?" Because you're beautiful. Because you're waiting on your dissertation committee and you're not a basket case, and because anyone who can read that..." I pointed down at the papers in front of her, "can program my VCR so that I don't miss 'Reba' anymore."She laughed again. "And why would I want to go out with you?" Good question," I mused. "Well, I'm cute. And I'm funny. And I don't kiss on the first date, so don't.
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