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All because I am a homosexual. ***Me second failure occurred in my sixteenth year. My thoughts strayed on occasion, but I kept them in control. I had a girl partner, Maria. We would be married once we came of age as is our custom. I had asked her to dance with me at the annual summer festival the year before. She said yes. We danced all day and night. Our parents noticed. The community noticed. We were given permission to continue getting to know each other and so we did. After school every day, when we had a free moment we would talk. Our favorite was to walk. The community is small, its walls surround us, but we would walk along them often, talking and enjoying the outdoors. I was happy and so was she. I knew who Axel was. He was separate from the rest of the people. 18 years of age, but his education was private with the pastor. He bore a strange tattoo on his wrist. I asked my parents what it meant but they hushed me, telling me to always follow God. Axel. I expect you to behave when you’re there. If you can’t do that, you won’t be moving in. Are we clear on that?”Allen said, “Sure, Baby. I understand. I can move in as soon as you give me the green light. Baby, I’m packed and ready.”“I think it’s too soon for that, Allen. Maybe in time, if we see we’re compatible enough to live together. I have my kids who will be impacted by you in my house so we’ll discuss it later. Right now is not a good time.”I resisted Allen’s sexual advances for two months after I signed the divorce papers. I was still feeling guilty I guess. The first time we had sex, he came inside me before I could tell him to pull out. I was in my safe time but I still sweated the week before my period was due. I was praying his sperm had not scored in me. Jim had been snipped after Little Jim was born so birth control had not been an issue with us. Luckily, I did not get pregnant from my newly found sexual freedom. I decided to go back on the pill.It was still fifteen days.
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