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Out in the front my counter was right back where it always had been, and the campaign posters had been stripped from the windows. There was no trace of what must have been hundreds of people, just empty silence. Wandering back to the kitchen, I grudgingly had to hand it to Jerry: his team was very good at what they did. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and reveled in the silence. I was over. Finally, after all this time, I was done. The sterile smell of the cleaner seemed out of place in the normally sweet-smelling room, and I wondered what type of chemicals they had used. Just to be on the safe side I grabbed my own cleaning supplies and wiped down all the counters, scrubbing away the unfamiliar odors. I stood in the empty room once more, staring around me at the tools I so rarely got to use. Though I did my best to rotate the menu, the majority of the items I had for sale never changed. The intricate decorating techniques it had taken me years to learn were rarely seen in. And thoughts swirling through my head."What if my buddies found out?" i thought , what if I'm gay?" was another ...the longer the day ran and the closer the time to meet the more freaked out i became.I actually walked 3 miles to the bar just to try to clear my head. I stood across the street staring into the parking lot Knowing i couldnt go in.Frustration and anxiety playing incredible tricks on my psyche.As i walked away from the bar after a few minutes , angry at myself...and more importantly disappointed. I decided to call her. "Hello ?" she answered."hey" Whats up Hun?" she inquired"Im freaking out baby" Why ?" Im scared and insecure. I'm a fucking retard. i cant do this tonight" ummmm oookaaaayyyy" she said with obvious confusion (i would like to think disappointment as well)i hung up the phone.After a couple of days , I couldnt stop thinking about her. Gazing at pix and wondering what could have been i called her again.She picked up and before she could say hello i intruded.
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