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Let me give you some of her greatest hits: 'Lacks empathy', whatever the fuck that means, or this diamond, 'self-absorbed, narcissist', or even this unsavoury accusation, 'cantankerous, caustic in the extreme, and generally quarrelsome and petulant'. If that wasn't libellous enough, there's these scurrilous accusations:'She demonstrates utter disdain for her correspondents whom she regards as unworthy nobodies sent to plague her with their imbecilic problems.' Or this... 'Her advice is viperous and insulting. She makes no effort to understand the issues presented and her solutions are quackery at best and physically and psychologically damaging at worst.'Now I don't know if you can believe this but all of the above is supposed to be about me and my award-winning Dear Cum column. Sorry, but did I tell you about my award? I felt it was about time I got one and seeing as no one else was rushing to give me one I created my own. Swept the board. So now I'm the proud recipient of eight. She was that pretty. Soft, brown hair, nice figure, boobs just the right size.I heard Mrs. O'Keefe coming down the stairs so I started to stand up when Ms. Lynch took my arm and said, "Sit down, Russell, just relax."Then, my teacher walked into the room. Oh, wow. She had changed into shorts and a very low cut top. The tops of her breasts were exposed almost down to her nipples."Here's the assignment, Russell," as she leaned over to hand me the paper. "Is there something you like down there?" she said as she looked down at her cleavage."Um, uh, no," I said averting my eyes."Then, just why do you have an erection, Russell?" asked Ms. Lynch.As I turned to answer my former teacher, Mrs. O'Keefe stepped right in front of me and leaned over and crouched, her breasts threatening to spill out of her top."You like these, don't you, Russell?"What am I going to say, 'No?'"Yes," I said quietly."Well, Russell, my husband is away this week and Ms. Lynch doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment so we.
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