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I'm sorry for being so emotional. I didn't think your leaving would affect me this way. I pride myself on being strong, self-reliant, but right now I feel like I'm falling apart inside. Do you remember that old Teddy bear you had? "Mr. Fluffy" is what you called him. Do you remember I washed him once, just because you had carried him everywhere for years, and he was dirty and smelled bad? And because I put him in the washing machine a part of him ripped and some of the stuffing came out? You cried and cried and said, "Fix him, Mommy. Fix Mr. Fluffy!"? I had to sew him back together, remember? I feel like Mr. Fluffy right now, all soft and insubstantial inside.But I can't tell you that."I guess it's time to go," he said. He was looking at the tops of his sneakers, the way he did during awkward moments."Are you sure you packed everything? Do you have your allergy pills? Your eyedrops? Your--" I have them all, Mom." He rolled his eyes."You'll call, right? You'll call tonight and let me. "But I am curious about you...like why youkeep trying to avoid me at school. Most guys hit on me, but every timeyou see me you start looking around as if you're afraid someone iswatching you." Maybe someone is," I pointed out, thinking of Whisperwing and howannoying it was to have him spying on me all the time. "You know thosegovernment spies and all."Julie laughed at that. Then she abruptly asked, "Are you gay?" What?" I asked in surprise."It's all right if you are," Julie quickly assured me. "I mean, ifthat's why you always try avoiding me..." I'm NOT gay," I blurted out defensively."You've never asked any of the other girls out," Julie said, trying todefend her question. "So I was just wondering." Then she shrugged."Then again, a lot of the girls think you're some kind of pervert orsomething..."I groaned at that, slapping my forehead. "Great. No wonder I can'tever get a date." Sorry," Julie apologized, looking a little guilty. "I don't believeit, but some of the girls.
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