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Being alone with you last night made me think of him, and what I’ve missed, being with and close to a man. I don’t trust my feelings, or anyone else’s anymore. But, thinking of him last night re-lit a fire in me. It kept me up most of the night. I think he wants me to fan those flames and enjoy myself. I’m tired of being such a bitter bitch about a situation I can’t change. I describe myself as “angry at life with an unforgiving furor”. I’ve hated everything about life for a long time.”“Do you mean YOU’LL change after this?” I asked.She shrugged her shoulders and spit out a guffaw-like reaction. “I doubt it; I’ve become such a cunt. But I’ll try hard to.”I took my first aggressive move on her as my reaction to her shrug and attitude as I turned and put my lips to hers and pushed her back into the love seat. I used my knee to spread her legs, as her skirt rode up, and lay right on her and grind as I mashed my body on hers.“Is this how bad you’ve wanted me?” she asked in a breathless. I was in and out of wakefulness most of the time, those first few hours. I believed myself to be one of the 'living dead'. I called my squire Rolf to my side. I charged him with finding the priest, so I could give my confession, and receive Last Rites. Rolf hurried off, and I noted with interest the moisture in his eyes as he left.I faded from seeing for a time.In the dream, I saw Susan's globes, tipped with a nipple the size of my little fingertip. They were demonstrating her excitement. The musk of her womanhood filled the room. Her blue eyes were like the slow water pools in the River Leen, outside the castle. Her yellow hair was like the sun.Looking over her, the flaming hair of Elaine cascaded softly over her charms like a waterfall. Full and firm, with large areolas and firm nipples that demonstrated her excitement peeked out from her camisole enticingly. I had lowered my head to Susan's right breast and was happily sucking on that nipple. Elaine was skillfully stroking my.
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