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There was Rick talking to her mom. "Hey Jordie," her mom said, as she was peeling potato's. "Rick was just telling me how you had people dancing last night." "That's great," Jordan said. "Can I see you outside for a minute." Rick gave a nod to her mother, then followed Jordan outside. "What's on your mind?" he said wrapping his arms around her. She peeled them off. "What are you doing here?" she asked still mad. "Had some free time. So I thought I would come spend some time with you," he said, trying to get close to her. "The way you acted last night, I thought we might need to talk, since we are you know," he tried to hug her again. "Wait. You think. No. No. It was a date!" she said, shaking her head "What about after the date?" he said with a smile on his face. "You mean the two minutes we spent in the back of your truck?" she said. He tried to hush her. "No you can shout we are together. But I can't tell the truth?" she said. He grabbed her hard. "Let go, Or I swear.. There is no ladder climbed or glass ceiling broken. It’s just another dirty dish in the sink. It’s another sock in the drawer. Every compliment I am given on being a wife and mother is received with a blush, downcast eyes, and a sweet thank you. Afterward I always say something along the lines of, ‘I couldn’t do anything without his help.’ or ‘It’s worth it because he is so good to me.’ No one would ever hear a negative word about him from my lips. Inside, I am bitter. Every ‘thank you’ I receive hits me in the chest like a sledgehammer. Every time someone tells me I am brave or strong I want to vomit on my shoes. I hate being a good woman. I hate being a good wife. I hate that it’s all I can do, that it’s all I know, that it’s all I can ever be. Every day is another regret. Every night is another fantasy of escape. Each time I leave my house, even if it’s just a visit to the grocery store or coffee shop, I cry at the thought of returning home. Panic takes my body. My heart feels.
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