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Doing it twice in a finger-width..." He grinned broadly. "There's a reason we're heaping praise on you."Now, if you would, Captain, I'd like to see you and the following other officers after lunch at the statue of Tazi, north of the village." He ran down a list of a dozen names, and then was off to another clump of officers.Gryllos escaped to a table piled high with food. Leem was there, a smile on his face."I don't know which is worse. Facing praise or facing the enemy," the Ruthani opined."Something like that," Gryllos admitted."My father, Gryllos, wasn't like most men. He was hard, as most Ruthani fathers are. But there was always a difference with him. Life, he told us, was a contest. One of the men who was sent north brought a message from him to my mother and to the rest of us. 'You must realize that you have to look at all things around you to see what it is that is truly there and what is truly not there. Nothing will kill you quicker than not seeing what's there. Nothing. I guess you were right, Father. All this time I needed a man to define me. Even though we were apart, I was able to survive knowing that I was his possession. But that was then. Perhaps Felix’s role in my life was to get me through, to allow me survive the eastern approaches. For that, I will always be grateful to him. But I made it, I’m home. Now, I don’t need him anymore. In the bathroom, just off our beautiful bedroom, so unchanged from the day I left it, there is peroxide and hair dye among my dusty possessions. Silently, impassively, I bleach my hair from root to tip, shocking my jet black tresses until I barely recognise the ashen blonde staring back at me from the mirror. When I am satisfied, I carelessly work the neat red dye in, watching bloody runnels fall from my scalp, dropping in heavy arterial pools, splattering the floor, the sink, the mirror, tainting my flesh. I leave it to sink in for a long time, too long. Finally, I rinse, drying it just enough to leave my newly.
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