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"Yeah, I know what you mean. I got cut off by this jerk making a turn onto 38th Street this morning. All I can say is, "It's a good thing I didn't have a gun. I would have shot that smug look he gave me clean off his face! The jerk even had the nerve to flip me off when I blew my horn at him!"Barb could see the anger in her friend's eyes as she related the incident to her."How come there's never a cop around when those things happen," she replied, with her voice full of sympathy. "Or Chuck," she'd added that just to prick her friend's curiosity enough to ask about him so she could get her own story off her chest Seeing the expected wondering look come into Diane's face, she took a deep breath and began her own tale of woe."Well yesterday, you know my twelve year old son Tommy? He said he was sick and couldn't go to school, so I called Chuck from work and asked him if he could go home and check on him during lunch."Remember he only works a few blocks from home, and he could have walked. " So I'd have to get two costumes. I thought about having Zeke wear the clothes he arrived in, but that would set him up for ridicule he didn't deserve. So, I went to the costume shop with a budget specified by Harriett for two men's costumes. The only large costumes they had left were Death, long black robes with hoods and grizzly facemasks. We'd be completely covered.Knowing me, you might expect that I'd use being in costume as an opportunity to have sex with someone other than Harriett. There was that potential upside. Hell, given my sexual nature, it was almost a sure thing. But under those circumstances, such a result would have been a really bad idea. Which is why I came up with a really great scheme. Zeke and I would pretend to get sick, me with laryngitis and him with a high fever. Then he'd use one of the Death costumes and pretend to be me. He'd only have to keep quiet and let Harriett prattle on. As an ill Zeke, I'd stay home and avoid the party altogether."Won't she know.
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