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“How’s it going?” Natalie asked, giving me a quick hello hug, and I told her how much I loved her house and how beautiful her family was. I realized we had never actually talked about what this visit was about, if anything beyond just a way to spend a Sunday afternoon. It seemed obvious because the invitation came after discussing her concern about her sex life with Xander, and I waited for Natalie to say something. Xander arrived with an ice tea for me and Natalie and a beer for himself.About an hour later, the three of us were seated at their patio table in their beautiful backyard. Xander was on his third beer, while I had just finished my second ice tea and really didn’t want a third one. During a lull in the otherwise lively conversation I had just decided to announce that I would leave, when Natalie whispered to Xander.“What do you think?” she asked.My heart started racing and I looked down and pretended that I couldn’t hear what they were saying to give them some privacy. I. He nodded. He was right where he belonged.The strict rhythm of the hospital caused the return of order in his life – a sense of cause and consequence, and a sense of time. There was morning, afternoon and evening again – and with it a succession of days and nights. He was tested, run through scans and found weak but healthy. They made him do exercises. He started eating real food again, though he missed the special flavor he'd gotten used to. He also missed the sounds and the scents, the subtle excitement that always lurked under a layer of numb patience.Most of all, he missed her.Missing her wasn't a 'hollow feeling where his heart had been, ' as so many romantics try to explain it. It wasn't anything physical at all – just a constant lack of purpose, a not knowing what to do next, or why. He missed her presence, but most of all he missed waiting for her. He'd never known when she would come down to see him, but he'd always known she would, one day. And when she did, she brought her.
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