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“So ... are you babysitting me or am I babysitting you?” she asked.“A little of both, I think,” I admitted. “I’m supposed to keep people from trying to run over you; you’re supposed to make sure I don’t set Liz up for a Playboy pictorial.”“I’m not going to let anyone run over me,” Jill stated.“I didn’t think so but Liz wanted you to know you had backup,” I said. “It’s your first time really in charge and everybody is going to test your limits. I guess they already view me as a bad guy after the situation with Stephanie so Liz wanted me to come with you in case you need a cudgel.”“What’s a cudgel?” Jill wondered.“A club,” I said.“So why didn’t you say ‘club’?” she asked.“Because I’ve always wanted to use ‘cudgel’ in a sentence and I saw the chance,” I retorted.Jill chuckled.“They don’t really view you as a bad guy,” she told me. “It’s just ... look, I was there. I was ... amazed ... at the words coming out of her mouth. I literally had to drag Liz to the floor to keep her from killing. Tell Pocahontas I said hello. I haven’t drywalled over her bedroom door yet, but I have all weekend, right?”“Pocahontas says you’re an a-hole, for which I plan to paddle her skinny behind. What is it between you two, anyway? I swear you two are male and female identical twins. I worry about you sometimes, Jason Bows.”“I’d worry about me too,” Jason admitted (wisely, or otherwise), deciding not to shy from the subject. “You know I wear her underwear to school, right? I especially like her pink set with the furry white bunnies. Tell her I have them on now.”“You are incorrigible. I’ll text you later. Behave yourself tonight. Love, Mom.”Pocketing his phone, he briefly tried to recall what the text round had interrupted, and then shrugged it off in favor of a slice of cooled pepperoni pizza. The breadsticks went into the microwave for a good dose of radiation, making them too hot to touch, much less risk burning his palate. Nuking two more pizza slices, he surrendered the remainder to the.
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