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We were in previews: rehearsals performed before a paying audience before the official opening. The night before, Liz, Glori (playing Tintinabula) and I had been inserted into ‘Everybody’s Got to Have a Maid’, a number sung by Pseudolus, his fellow slave, Hysterium, Lycus, and Hero’s father, Senex. So: Pseudolus has gotten Philia away from the brothel, and hidden her in the house so that she can be with Hero. Hero’s dad comes back from the country a little early, and Philia, thinking it’s her general come to claim her, throws herself at him. (Both Hero and Philia—the characters, not necessarily the actors—are dumber than a can of Spam.) Pseudolus appears and explains to the old man that this young hottie is a new maid Hysterium has hired, and Senex, pleased with her work ethic, sings this song about how great it is to have a maid. Four verses, one not very interesting tune, and four dancing character guys: it’s actually better than it sounds, but it’s not like a little sex appeal. We met for just the briefest of moments that one time when I brought you to him after you hurt your chin. However, I do not believe that he paid me much attention. He was quite concerned, and rightly so, with your injury. Head wounds bleed profusely and once he ascertained that I bore no responsibility for the gash on your chin, he promptly forgot all about me and tended to you." So, was it real the memories I have of you living with Papa and me during the last months before he passed? No. Those memories are not real. They cannot be true. I wish that they were. The memories I have of finding Papa all by myself, those memories are true. And, that was when Lilith first spoke to me. She stroked my hair and sang to me. She told me that she would protect me, keep me safe. She promised that no one would ever be able to hurt me again. She kept that promise, Erik. The only thing that she neglected to tell me was that in order that no one hurt me again, no one would ever love me again. That.
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