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" POUNDPOUNDthud."And bring Sam's floppy disks!" Ah yes, Alan's Saturday morning ritual. Going to bed after Ed and I, getting up early to pound on our door, to herald the arrival of his favorite Saturday morning cartoon. As usual, I ignored him. Also as usual, Ed didn't, sleepily getting up off the floor, sloughing on a pair of pants and a T-shirt, and opening the door."Shhh," Ed whispered, "Sam got a woman, you dumbass. They're sleeping." "Whoa! Lemme see! Did he let you watch? Why didn't anybody tell me? I woulda, like, gotten food, or something."Alan started to rush into the room, but Ed managed to narrowly avert disaster by shoving him back out into the hall. He shut and locked the door behind him.As I was contemplating my need of a fresh pair of underwear, I heard very distinctly, from the other end of the hallway, through two dozen walls, the exclamations of Paul and Chris, two if the other people Alan watches cartoons with... "WHO? GOT A WHAT? WHEN?" was Paul's reaction, the. Whatever that sound and light was, it had taken something out of her. She was reminded of the sonic weapons she had read of on a blog about advanced military technology. A freckled, very voluptuous brunette with long hair in a high, teased 1980s ponytail crawled over to her. ‘Don’ worry, luv,’ she said in broad Cockney, ‘Th’ wake-ness’ll wear off after an ‘alf h’our or so.’ ‘How long have you been here, then?’ inquired Jennifer, ‘Wherever “here” is, anyhow.’ ‘‘Bout’n h’our. Dunno where “‘ere” is, though. I’s knocked cawld just like you, inni? Coul’ be one’uv ‘em Chinese k**nappin’ ships y’ ‘ere ‘bout online as snatches girls an’ takes ‘em overseas t’be toms. No ‘fence on the Chinese fing, mind,’ she added hastily. Jennifer closed her eyes and shook her head. ‘No offence taken. But we’re buggered if that’s it. Literally and figuratively.’ ‘Cheer up,’ said the brunette in a falsely hearty voice. ‘Skinny little tart over there finks we’s been b’ducted by spacemen. Mebbe she’s right? Be.
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