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"I went out to eat my supper at six thirty. Kate kept looking at me all through the meal, but she didn't speak. We both knew that I was making my final decision, and that I'd make it alone. I was going to have to live with this decision for a long time, and I didn't want to make it having been influenced by outside factors. I already knew why Kate wanted me to give it another try with Clara. I didn't know why Clara wanted to give it another try with me. I was in bed before nine, but sleep didn't come fast or easy. I had essentially decided when I was talking with Kate. The only thing that kept me from acting on that decision already, was my fear of cutting that last tiny strand of connection with Clara.For a long time, in spite of how unrealistic my plan actually was, I had believed that Clara and I would find a way to be together, somehow, in the future. Even when I kept trying to get her out of my thoughts, I still retained this hope. Had I ever examined it, anywhere along the way,. Any man would, but that doesn’t mean we can. If we do that, nothing will be the same again.”Karla turned onto her left side, to face me, and she said, “You and I have got a pretty good relationship. I don’t think anything could ruin it.” She reached over, and put her right palm on my chest, and said, “I want to make love with you, Allan.”I’m only human. A beautiful girl was lying on my bed, asking me to make love with her. Yes, it was Karla, yes she was the girl I had driven to school as a six-year-old, and yes, I had watched her growing up as my stepdaughter, but an hour before, she had asked me to stand there and look at her as a woman, to spell out to her the things I saw about her that were attractive to me as a man, and yes, I should have disengaged myself from the game, but I didn’t. I had reached this point by my own actions. “I want to make love to you, too,” I said, feeling like I was in a dream.“So I guess, neither of us is to blame, then,” Karla said, as she moved closer.
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