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More of the sexiest white girls were sleeping with them then the other way around. There were also a decent amount of white guys with black girls but I never seemed to please black girls as well as I could attract them. In the end, it was hard to compete in who was cooler as well as it seemed that black music and dancing was dominate over rock, metal, and alternative. The main lesson of these years was not that black guys were better in everything, they were not and definitely there were instances of white guys being competitive. The main thing I think of though, when I think back to those times were of an overriding stress and unhappiness that comes from competing like an alpha-male and not succeeding. Another thing that made me stressed out was this racial competition that did not sit well with my deep down beliefs in racial equality. All of this made me really tired of the competition, really tired of trying to be an alpha male, and really tired of trying to prove that white guys. Lucy looked over at Ed and said, "Tell me a little about John Carter."Ed settled on the bed and looked around the room for a moment. In a soft voice, he said, "Most of what you need to know about John is in this room. He was happiest when he was in the middle of nature. It didn't matter where he was; he appreciated the raw natural beauty that he found there. Woods, swamp, plains, mountains, seaside, and desert were all just as beautiful to him. I think that of any man who I have ever met, John's love for the Goddess was absolute and total."Gesturing to the closet, Ed said, "John was the most self sufficient person I've ever met. He was a minimalist in terms of what he needed. I'm sure that you've heard that old expression that needs are few and wants are infinite. John didn't have any wants. Occasionally he'd say that he wanted to go hiking when he really needed to go. It is a lot like a person saying that they want to breathe when you know they need to breathe to remain alive."John.
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