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Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.This gives two possibilities:1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, ‘ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls. ‘BTS! BTS – on the wall! BTS – hoo, hoo, hoo.’ And, of course, ‘Bang the slut!’ So he really had got them going. Totally. Which, like I said, he really has to to get the bidding high for the charity. Even if when he said wall I think he meant some drawer somewhere where the panties were held after being tagged with the girl’s name. He’d told me so the day before. From the audience then ‘Fuck it guys. Let’s bid the slut.’ And it began. Caitlyn Prepares for her Big Day I just this second realized that maybe I need to back up a little before I tell you about my auction. I mean I have this tendency to jump right in the middle of things and everyone is like ‘huh? I’m confused’ which is really totally my own fault and even Mr. V., my creative writing teacher in high school, said that sometimes it can be OK to do that but not to overdo it and I guess he’s right. So let me back up. When I woke up that morning my first thought was not that I was going to be auctioned off to a black executive.
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