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#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.This is compliments of PepereOld one, but still good for a laugh.ALTAR BOY’S CONFESSION ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.’The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Dominic Savino?’‘Yes, Father, it is.’‘And who was the girl you were. Husband absolutely insisted we find her a place in the Gulf. Another girl refused point blank to go on holiday to Vietnam with her boyfriend. That was the final straw. He'd always wanted to go there. He thought she should see more of it too." Sorry, excuse me, sorry," a tall girl, smartly efficient in a business suit but clutching a coffee mug in one hand, a plate of toast in the other and with her brief case wedged under her arm, was trying to get through the space between Adrian's table and another. There wasn't enough room. Adrian pulled his chair in."Are you sure this is all right?" he said again, still worried about being overheard."Of course. Look. She's working on a job for the Monaco royal family, seems the wedding hasn't really worked out. That one over there, well let's say he's not happy with the way his investment into one young lady's pop career is working out and the gentleman with him is aiming to assist. These two have had a hand in a few of our most high profile.
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