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I knew my mind a little better than I had before, and I found myself to be a fan of frankness, openness and emotional honesty. I didn't need to know everything about my lover, but I realised at that moment that I needed much more than I was getting from Margaret. Lady H's question had crystallised my unspoken misgivings. Ironically I sensed that Em wanted more too, but couldn't find the means to express it. Could I bear that, the emotional separateness? For the moment it worked well enough, but it was bound to cause problems sooner or later. A drift away would be painful enough, but...How did I get myself into this position? Almost the same as Tori had been in last summer. Falling in love with someone not unwilling, but unable to give their heart and soul fully and fairly. Time had not run out, but the clock was running. To survive, there would have to be changes, because I knew we could not stand still, marking time in this albeit pleasant hiatus. And now I would have to be honest. There is a reason that I built in a safety. But, at least Ican keep it on hand." Yeah," I said, nodding in understanding. Then I looked over theweapon and pointed out, "But it's a bit too big to just carry aroundcampus..."Amy looked a little disappointed at that. "Yeah, I figured that bitout already. I made this so that I'd have something to protect myself,and I can't do that if it isn't with me. I guess the next time I turndevisor, it's back to the drawing board." Sounds like you had an interesting day," I said with a chuckle,thinking about the recent visitors to my room. "Now, let me tell youabout what happened with me..."--------------------Hawthorne, Sunday afternoon, Sept 23rd, 2007Roulette:The Hawthorne dayroom was currently in full use. Adore sat on thecouch, watching news on TV like she often did. Nobody made any attemptto change the channel, in spite of the fact that no one else wanted towatch the news.Team Awesome was sitting on the floor in the far corner,.
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