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Soon we are kissing and I am tasting her cherry lipstick. We usually kiss in the gay bars: helps me get boys to think I am more macho and she gets her share of fun.I notice guys stay away from Tina, probably my non-gay-looking clothes makes them think she is my girl or maybe they are too drunk to give a shit. One way or another, Tina tastes good tonight and the beer helps me on the mood.We have a toilet break and I get few minutes to check the deserter landscape of grindr. But hey! seems I am not the only lonely soul, I see the profile of some guy, he is partying in hit picture, he says he is 24 and he looks decent: dark haired, white, skinny type... does not give much information about himself. I am not crazy about his picture, normally guys who have partying pictures in grindr is either because they party all the time or because they want to project the image of being cool and social but they are normally shy. Those last ones are the ones I love, shy guys give me an instant. But pot helps keep you warm inside. So as a few of the local kids shotoff fireworks to end the month of December and start up the year of 2018,I was wrapped in blankets on my sofa, blowing smoke into the air.I'd have to be a different person next year. A better person. The kindof person who doesn't run away from their problems. I literally ran tothe ends of the Earth, and here I was: stoned and alone in the middle ofnowhere. This couldn't be the life I was meant for, could it?I sat there staring at my front door, letting my eyes lose focus. After awhile I wasn't sure whether or not my eyes were still open. Was I awake?I pulled my blankets closer around me. There seemed to be more material.Maybe I'd moved and got it loose.I woke up at some point. I want to say "in the morning," but the term"morning" becomes meaningless when it's winter in the Arctic and the sunnever rises.I stumbled off the sofa and switched on the light. Too warm. I shruggedoff the blankets and left them on.
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