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We are ... encouraged to forget that behind our titanium shellsthere is a body, that we are something other than the shells and thesystems they are hooked up to.But I'm ... a little different.Because besides all the other things I had wrong with my body, I had onenobody could see at the time.My body, as twisted as it was, is male, and my soul, my sense of self,however you want to say it, is female.And there's nothing I can do about it.So I keep busy and try not to think about itDoesn't always work.But I keep going anyway.Up until a short time ago, I've never told anybody about my problem. I'vealways been afraid they would decide I'm so broken I can't be trustedwith my job.But recently I managed to find someone I could trust to talk to.Helva, "the ship who sings" herself.I cant even describe how much of a relief it is to talk to someone aboutthis.It all happened a week ago ...Helva had arrived at my city's spaceport, and once the day's bustleslowed down, I risked having a conversation. Well not completely Abi. Tea?" Rhea shook her head as I poured the steaming brown liquid from the teapot into individual cups.Mum appeared the moment the last cup was full and I smiled. "Tea? Freshly made. I was going to bring it up with the newspaper." You bloody weren't, I'm reading it," moaned Rhea."You are in your nightclothes, you need to get dressed" I reminded her and she pouted at me. "Or at least, I think that was once sold as a nightie instead of a T-Shirt"Rhea looked down at her clothes and shrugged. "I like it, and it's not as though I need to be staid or prudish in my own home." Do we know why he is in such a good mood?" Mum asked Rhea, as she took the drink from me."No. But I think it has something to do with Abi..." Rhea teased." ... or Sarah" Mum added and I thought back to our conversation the night before. Did I mention Sarah? I think I must have done or else how else could Mum have known."Who's Sarah?" Rhea asked before I could respond."He went out with his school.
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