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It was now Selection Time.I pointed at Lorraine. "Go to the cellar and lay down in the dirt!" I instructed. With a despairing moan, she complied, going to the kitchen before opening the cellar door and disappearing downward. Derek and Danica were sitting side-by-side, and I knew she worshiped her older brother, so I gave her to him for the night. My wife had scolded Damon for something in the past couple days, so I assigned her to whatever revenge he need to inflict upon her. As I left for the cellar, I could already see my darling little Danica laying on an easy-chair, legs raised and spread wide, smiling in utter adoration at Derek as he began to mount her.I turned on the two 40-watt lights bulbs at the bottom of the steps. Lorraine was curled up into the fetal position as her eyes gazed up at me, filled with fear. Was I going to kill her? A lot of men choose to, ah, "end their ownership" of a female in a cellar or a full-blown basement, so my mother-in-law was positively ELATED. It was no good protesting that I wasn't even supposed to be working that afternoon. I was just wandering around in an alcoholic stupor when the producer grabbed me."Jonty, Big Mel hasn't shown again. Get up there now and introduce the dignitaries."I honestly tried to get out of it. I was almost incoherent anyway, but he wasn't listening or he couldn't understand my slobbering attempt at an explanation. Well, that's history now; and so was I thirty seconds after my last live broadcast. Back to the Professor:"I would like to hire you." You what?" I said, I would like to hire you. Allow me to explain."And he did. He told me that his name was Professor Gerald Humphreys, formerly Head of Quantum Physics at the local university. He'd retired two years before and had spent the intervening period perfecting a time machine. He'd worked on it for over thirty years and now it was finally ready. He needed an assistant, mainly to act as an objective observer but also to do any heavy donkeywork. I.
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