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I thought a lot about what I should do when I had the power, for those few brief ( minutes / days / years / lifetimes ) when I saw everything and understood how everything fit together. And I remember the fear that came with that knowing, the terror that what I was doing wasn't right, wasn't fair. And the farther I had tried to look into the future to see what would happen, the fuzzier the little silvery pieces had gotten. So I just tried my best.I could not fix Lauren's life, or Courtney's life, or Lisa's life. I tried to do something. Courtney Collins was a host on a gab-fest called "The View," now. I couldn't restore her family and friends, and I didn't think I had the right to take away her memories of what had happened to her. I thought, then, if I had seen things unfold correctly, that this would be a stepping stone for her that would have her end up pretty close to where she started.Lisa Antoine was in Hollywood again. She moved there with her boyfriend, a brilliant computer. "What kind of plans?" It'll be a surprise, Sandra." Oh, I can hardly wait!" Trust me, it'll be worth waiting for." I DO trust you, Karen." And that was totally the truth. This womanknew all my secrets, kind of like most hairdressers and estheticiansend up knowing everything about their clients' personal lives. Except Ihad a bigger secret than most."Can I ask you a personal question, Sandra?" Karen inquired, as if oncue."Uh, sure ... anything. What would you like to know?" Well, I've been wondering about you for a while. You've been fulltime, what, a year now? I always thought you should've been born agirl, and when you started showing up dressed like one I was thrilledfor you. You made a very attractive girl right from the start, but overthe past year you've really blossomed. I'm sure you know what I'mtalking about ..." I think you mean my body?" Yes, your body - it's just amazing ... but your face too, honey. Youhave such stunning facial features. What I call classic beauty." Oh,.
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