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“I thought you’d at least thank me for fixing that bump on your boyfriend’s face first,” she muttered.“But isn’t that exactly what you’d say if you were being mind-controlled?” Alaina persisted.“You’ve really gone all-in on the conspiracy theory, haven’t you?” her mom said, giving her a pitying look. “And how am I supposed to prove that I’m fine, then?”“Kick her out!” Alaina hissed. “We had dinner like you wanted. If you’re you, there’s no reason for her to be here anymore, right? Tell her to go home or something.”Her mom tapped a finger on her lip. “Let me see if I understand. You think that because I’m helping someone you don’t like, I must be getting mind-controlled?”No, because you’re doing this much for Laura, and she obviously doesn’t need your help! Alaina frowned. “That’s not—”“Alaina, I was wrong before,” her mom said, staring into the distance over her head. “I forgot that you’re still a kid.”“I’m not—”“Let me finish, please,” Mom said in a tone that was not for making. I even had plenty of ones in case a lap dance broke out. Soon she was jiggling her way to me. "Don't I know you?" She said excitedly. "We went to school together. I'm Fonda...Fonda Peters"I bet you are, I thought to myself, then suddenly remembered her. "Fuckable Fonda" was her nickname at Whasamatta U., our alma mater. Her name was written in every boy's restroom in school. Oddly enough, it was her handwriting. Allegedly, her vagina was where STD'S congregated to discuss current events. She was legendary for blow jobs. "She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose," the Reverend Horne told his congregation at her Baptism. Her oral skills cured her protein deficiency as well as left her with a flawless complexion. She once had lockjaw and half the football team became suicidal. I was once told she had more yeast infections than Mrs. Popping Fresh. (Rimshot!)Yes, she was ....notorious! I hadn't thought of school in years. A very prestigious school, part of the Poison Ivy.
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