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With herself and with the thing that lay asleep in his own waste and somehow still called to her in the most allusing ways. Forever found herself walking closer to the bed as she let her lungs take in the smell that no longer made her gag but instead went through ehr like a starngely potent drug. She kneeled beside the matress as quiet as a breeze and drew her face close to his. She inhaled him, brought his smell into her and let it awaken memories of rape and beating that a run away teen had endured for five staright days. She took another breath letting the memory of a naked bloody dash across dirt road sink into her. She shudder letting the memories rise into her and wrap around her bones like the long lost return of a drug once kicked newly awaken by the flush of a needle coursed revivingly through the veins.The habit was back. SHe smiled then at him helpless body, He must of looked down at her the same way once as she slept before shoving candied fruits up her ass before waking. “What do you want me to do about it?” I asked conspiratorially.“Being here ought to be enough,” she said airily with a grin.“I can’t be here every day.”“Being here today might be enough,” she smiled.The rest of the afternoon flew by. I did a little swimming, a little diving, and a little flirting with my girlfriend. The sharks had scattered for the day, leaving Deedee alone. Mikey left a little early, taking his younger siblings home. I bid Deedee and a few others goodbye, and made the ride back home over the gravel.I was in the shower when the memories came back to me again.SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1990In hindsight, I should have known better. In hindsight, I should have recognized the signs. In hindsight, I should have realized this was maybe the second time I’d ever called her house while she’d called mine maybe one hundred times. Oh, and mom had pretty much warned me. When you’re fourteen, you don’t have much hindsight. And that lack of hindsight led to heartache that day.But I dialed.
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