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’ ‘Fine ma’am, switch to a rival station.’ ‘Oh I can’t do that. I have to listen for the next occasion when you’ll disgust me.’ ‘Right ma’am. You sound elderly. Remember when you shop, extra soft paper for the bathroom.’ ‘Young man, Jimmy the Frog is a ridiculous name.’ ‘Yes ma’am, and what is your first name?’ ‘Inocencia.’ ‘Ma’am,’ Jimmy laughed. ‘You are responsible for giving us the joke of the day. Well done and have a lovely evening. May I point out to new listeners my real name is James Froggatt and in 4th grade a smart-ass kid called Bug-Eyes dubbed me Jimmy the Frog and it’s been my nickname ever since. Bug-Eyes happens to be mayor of our town.’ By Friday Doug had signed three contracts from other stations wanting to take the Jimmy the Frog Show feed. Rather impressed, Doug told James, ‘This take-up is good for your ego but I’m telling you it won’t last. You’ll be history within two weeks, probably rotting in jail for calling prim lady listeners bitches.’ ‘You attend to. And, filling him with gratitude and joy, back down again. Gradually accelerating, maybe, but still real slow, real intimate, real close. Skin whispering to skin — ok, there was a condom there somewhere, but all the pressure, all the heartbeats, all the trembling, all the veins and muscles were really real, filling his heart with joy, constantly reminding his nipples to stay firm. Slowly, the speed of her motions increased, like ripples on the sea responding to a rising wind. He recalled the ‘signs of the sea’ he’d memorised as the Beaufort scale during their Lifeguard training. Soon she had gone from ‘Ripples without crests’ to ‘Large wavelets. Crests begin to break, scattered whitecaps’ as the energy hitherto hidden within her slowness started to show itself. He lay dead still and let her storm break over him. ‘High waves with dense foam. Wave crests start to roll over. Considerable spray.’ If he’d been sailing now he’d have reefed down to a tiny triangle of storm-sail, made.
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