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But for me it was the opposite. Xanax not only allowed me to sleep, but it also stopped the dreams. If ever I didn’t take the pills, however, the dreams came back, even more frighteningly...The dreams, the night terrors, always with me spitting bloody teeth from my mouth, crawling on my belly, sometimes through swarms of cockroaches scurrying about the floor. And those men, their sounds, shrieks, shrill voices, their banging, clanking on the doors. The headless man at the end of the hallway, the man in the hallway sometimes stabbing and slashing and churning the butcher knife inside his open chest wound.I’d never experienced visions, dreams of the sort. And the visions began to bleed over, enter into my days. Diurnal sightings. I’d see the figures, at the top of stairs, staring down from a window, in the distance trying to dig holes. They’d lock eyes with me and then vanish, go back to hiding in the smog, where I knew they lived.I don’t know why I told my coworkers about the history. I open my mouth to speak, but I'm still unable to come up with the words I want.In a rush, I blurt it out. "I need you inside me." Nothing. No response from him.I try again. "I want you to fuck me." His hands move from their position on my thigh and slide slowly along my back, and I wonder if I've said enough.Finally, he leans close to me, his breath warm against my back. "You can do better than that, can't you?" I roll my face into the pillow, wondering what more I can possibly say.Quickly, my impatience and the aching brings me the courage to say the words. Quietly..."I want you to fuck me in the ass. Is that what you want to hear?" I brace myself for his response, and the click of the lube bottle opening is my answer.His fingers are cool against my ass, as they slide down my crack. One finger slides in easily, but my quick gasp is involuntary. His free hand runs along my clit as I bury my face in the pillow to hide my reaction."On your hands and knees," he says. I do as he has.
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