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"You asked me, "are you going to marry Damien?''I said, ''yes, Natalia.''"I like you very much, Matlida," you said.''Natalia, you told me one day that you didn't want to find a lover here."''Yes, I did, but you are different, Matilda.''You continued, ''I don't want you to betray him. We'll continue our friendship as sisters."We parted with tears.When I heard that Damien was having a secret affair with Miranda, another senior girl from our university, I could not believe it.The next day Damien left me, sending me a short message. ''Goodbye, Matilda.''I was shocked. I wept, cried, lamented, my heart was in pieces. Your sincere words healed my wounded heart to some extent.Then I heard that Damien was going to marry Miranda. It didn't affect my heart or mindI used to meet you at the canteen but started missing you. I was expecting you as usual, but we never met.I became as silent as you were.I was stunned when I heard the news that Miranda left Damien, and you were going to him to fill. What was important for my development at that time was my infatuation for them, as a family. Janice became my role model.With them in my life, I finally saw the light shining at the end of the tunnel, and my mother could do nothing about it. Janice (her fantasy daughter) was my protector. Janice could do no wrong, and if Janice wanted me there, I had to be there. Their house became my haven against the cruelties of my family, and the outside world.Ted became my image of what a real man should be like. I revolted slowly and totally against the image my father and brother presented. The mental image I have even today of a father... my father, is the image of Ted. I haven't seen him now in years, but many times during these last years, especially these last two, I wished I had had his strong caring shoulders to cry on.What changed my life forever was Janice. In the beginning of our relationship, Janice represented to me the image of what a mother and a wife should be, but she was also my.
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