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“You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”“Well, screw him!” said John.“I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”How To Stop Church GossipMildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there would know what he was doing! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny. He said. He opened a box of chicken nuggets and placed them in his oven to bake while he went to his master bathroom to take a dump in the toilet and then a shower to wash off the day's grunge.Fully refreshed, he grabbed a Guinness from the fridge and served himself the nuggets as he plopped in the sofa to catch the Thunderbirds marathon on Tech TV.A few hours and episodes later, he used the toilet one last time and turned into bed.He slept late the next morning and finally got out of bed a little after noon. Getting up at 7 AM every day for work, and getting home at 6 PM left him exhausted on the weekends. He toasted a waffle to take the hunger off while he booted up his PC.His email was nothing but spam, so he deleted it all and went into the newsgroups for a while. He lurked in alt.torture, alt.sadistic, alt.lifestyle.master-slave, and soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm, letting his unfulfilled fantasies run wild at reading what people were really doing together. He also dropped in on a few of.
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