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"Fortunately for both of you, I speak fluent sarcasm. Please allow me to translate."Ashley has suggested that in this country and in this religion, a wedding is an intimate occasion. While there is no precise definition of intimate in this context, it is uncontroverted that eighteen hundred exceeds it by thirteen to fifteen hundred."Universal wedding etiquette places the comfort and enjoyment of the guests near the top of the list. The expense, effort and logistics required to seat eighteen hundred people plus the support staff to purchase, prepare, serve, clean up and dispose of the debris resulting from such an event is seriously deleterious to the enjoyment of the guests."I didn't anticipate this discussion, but if it would be helpful I'm sure I can develop a mathematical model to not only prove my assertion, but calculate the number of guests where the experience begins to switch from enjoyable to burdensome." How do you know that?" Thank you, Ashley," said Mom. I had saved her. ' Shegiggled and then continued, 'Because you are so small withsuch girly looks it didn't take much to convince mum thatwe could do it. Even the ponytail was part of the plan.'She continued to goad me and I could do nothing about it.Any resistance would be met with a violent reaction that Idid not have the strength to stop.'From now on you are going to be treated like a littlegirl. You will be dressed in skirts and dresses.' It washard to believe that this was coming from the mouth of oneso young but she was so convincing that I could not doanything but believe her.Eventually Maggie returned. By this time I was polishingEmily's boots as she sat victoriously over me. He told hermother what she had made me do. Maggie replied, 'That'sgross, they were covered in filth from the stables,' shestopped and laughed before continuing 'but it serves himright for being such a wimp.'I was sent upstairs to have a bath. When I had dried myselfEmily gave me a pink cotton nightdress to put on..
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