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Someone asks ‘what are you supposed to be?’, he replies ‘I’m a tortoise’. ‘What about her?’, he replies... ‘that’s Michelle’I told my doctor that when I travel from country to country I have the urge to get drunk. She told me I’m a borderline alcoholic.A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.”He zipped up and finished his shopping.At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the girl was that told him about his “barracks door.”He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?”The girl thought for a moment and said:“No, no I didn’t ... but I saw a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffle bags.”... A. I locked the door and unbuttoned my shirt. My chest wasdeveloping nicely. I could see, what I thought was the beginning of musclegrowth. But my nipples kept itching all the time. I rebuttoned my shirt. Itwas a bit snug around my chest. I smiled. This is great. I'm getting a largerchest. I unbuttoned my pants, I thought that my penis was smaller than usual.Granted it was cold in the office that day, but even so. I was still tooexcited about my chest development. As soon as I got back to my desk, thephone rang."Good Morning, This is Frank." I said. My voice began to crack like ateenager in puberty."Honey, are you all right?" It was my mother."Yeah, Mom." I replied. "I guess I'm getting a cold again." My voice wasgetting worse."Well, don't forget you're coming for brunch on Sunday. Your sister's comingover." I remember. I'll see you at 6:30." I said. "Bye." My voice cracked again. Itried clearing my throat but every time I opened my mouth to speak, a voice Ididn't recognize would come.
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