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I learned to hide my pain and terror behind a perfect mask.I promised myself that no one would ever hurt me like that agian, sure my daddy took me to bed with him every night but I always closed myself off. I would dream of the far off places I wished I could go, just me and my brother.As the years past, I became more and more withdrawn. I no longer had friends at school for fear of making my father jealous. I did well in school only for the dream of escaping. I had been young and foolish to pray for someone to save me, no one ever came. I stopped praying and eventually learned to live the life I had. On my fifteenth birthday my father told me that he had boughten my a special suprise.My daddy had always kept the tradition of giving me a special surprise on my birthdays and I expected nothing less.He handed me a box filled with tissue paper and a tiny piece of pink silk. In another box was a black and pink teddy he had bought to match."You want me to wear this for you daddy?"The look. Several come to mind, in one a male reader posted a letter saying they allways in the summer shaved their pubic hair, this stuck with me and I was more often than not hairless "down below." It was then an odd thing to do but just felt right. Once I was in my room with a new mag and stripped off naked gently wanking to it, well I needed some tissues or something and stood up and stretched over to get the box from the table. The mag had a "one for the ladies" pic in every issue of a naked, well built male, and I was at that page when the chair brushed against my ass, not the cheeks but near the sphincter. It caught me unawares and I was surprised how nice the sensation was. Then there was another letter in a mag, clearly now I see, aimed at the ladies, about a gay being turned gay after an encounter in a toilet with another man which I read and reread getting very hard to. I didnot see myself as gay or anything but it resonated with me.There used to be a launderette opposite the hall.
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