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Not your aunt." Auntie -- " I'm not your aunt!"Not my aunt?"Listen to me. Remember... remember the night we found each other. That night at... at the party. That night... the pain... the pain of existence."The pain of existence.She wouldn't let me alone. Bad enough that she'd call me four or five times a day at my workplace. But, she also had this annoying habit of dropping in unannounced at my apartment and more or less demanding sex right then and there. And even when you're not in a particularly lusty mood, it's hard to turn down a needy woman when she's rubbing her nipples against you and grabbing your crotch. It was very inconvenient.I'd never known a woman as hot to trot as Aggie. She was obsessed with sex. On the nights she slept over, I'd all too often awaken early to find her tightly clutching my morning erection and -- full bladder or not -- be compelled to stick it right into her. In public, she'd pull me over into a semi-concealed spot -- into the bushes or an unoccupied. .. My next guest is the dog who fucked Miss Blind America and eventually put her in the space program ... The world's first Fucking-Eye Dog ... Give a big hand for Bob, ladies and gentleman!"Okay, okay ... I hear you. "I get it. You had to abstain for a week," you're saying. "So what? I've been married to the same man for 13 years! Don't talk to me about frustration!"My Aunt Bethany said that once. We weren't talking about Bob, of course, my oldest sister had been complaining because she lost her birth control pills and couldn't get a refill note for a week. She'd wanted to borrow some from me. I was like, no way! I'd only been 15 then, but hey! The Chili Peppers were coming to town, you know? I was gonna need those pills!A lot of people think the Miss Blind America all happens in one evening. It doesn't. It happens over many evenings in front of a live audience, and it's taped. Then the final night, when the winner is announced, those tapes are used to make it seem like the whole.
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