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Though he diddled his best,And fucked her with zest,She kept asking, “Hey, Pop, is it in?”I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda,I was lewd, but my God! she was lewder.She said it was crudeTo be wooed in the nudeI persued her, subdued her, and screwed her!There was a young lady of BicesterWho was nicer by far than her sister:The sister would giggleAnd wiggle and jiggle,But this one would come if you kissed her.There once was a son of a bitch,Neither clever, nor handsome, nor rich,Yet the girls he would dazzle,And fuck to a frazzle,And then ditch them, the son of a bitch!There once was a young fellow named Blaine,And he screwed some disgusting old jane.She was ugly and smelly,With an awful pot belly,But ... well, they were caught in the rain.There was a young sailor form BrightonWho remarked to his girl, “You’re a tight one.”She replied, “‘Pon my soul,You’re in the wrong hole;There’s plenty of room in the right one.A lacklustre lady of BroughamWeaveth all night at her loom.Anon she doth. As Christine was helped off the field (with two of her shorterteammates serving as underarm crutches) to go to the emergency room ofthe general hospital (where, lacking adequate insurance, she waitedtwelve hours before finally having her lower left arm set in a cast),the Smiters demanded that Blair be red-carded - sent off the field -for "unsafe play" - that is, for deliberately, and with maliceaforethought, injuring the opposition goalkeeper.While the referee by now knew enough about Blair's athletic ability(especially in the pouring rain) to realize that the "bump" might havebeen accidental, she had no choice in the circumstances but to hold upa red card, expelling Blair not only from the match, but also from thefacility, as Big Alice, as team captain, had to inform her girlfriend.Blair left the high school campus with her parents, the three of themmore perplexed than embarrassed. Kirk, however, stayed behind toreport back on the game's final moments and to look for Blair's.
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