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I only needed $50, but there was nothing smaller.’ The rest of the money lay untouched below the note. Time was a blur for the remainder of the contract. All I did was work, eat, sleep, drink, occasionally spend a bit of time at the casinos and jerk off to the porn on TV. Where would mankind be without porn? I view my hotel masturbation sessions as therapy. I would normally wank twice a night, which is funny, because I don’t normally come twice a night when I’m having sex. Once is sort of an arbitrary limit for me. But I think my record at wanking in one day was 5. That was a few years ago though. (I’d just inherited a fantastic porn collection from a mate… the potency of which has mostly died out now) Porn aside, I’d finally reached the end of my current contract and it was time to pack up and head back home to San Diego. Just as well I enjoy driving. Not being able to fly means it’s a lot more of a hassle to head home during mid-contract (Impossible when I’m working East-Coast). As. It took a few weeks, but the subject of Karin came up again. And, again, during 'pillowtalk' with Sandi. I don't recall even how we got on the subject but I got focused when Sandi said something to the effect that I'd let Karin down. I initially thought she meant I'd let her off too easily but Sandi went on that so many women carry baggage from abusive parents or their childhood years, or both, that it isn't right to not let them work out of it when they have the chance to exorcise their personal demons."You helped me with mine, Jake ... and you've helped Lisa and Patty and Mary; if you love women so much as you claim, you wouldn't have left Karin hanging."I told her again, that I wasn't attracted at all to Karin, and any intimate tenderness I showed her would be a lie."I'd have to do the whole thing with viagra," I protested; "And even then I might not have been able to perform." Besides, it's not exactly fair to criticize me ... or other men, for that matter, for not knowing what.
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