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I could sense that the other guy’s interest was piqued. I turned to him and smiled, lifting my leg just a little so that it pushed apart the bottom of my coat; it gave him a tantalizing look at my latex covered thigh. I smiled and winked again. It wasn’t me blushing any more. “Wh… what do you want?” asked the shop assistant. “What do I want?” I repeated, “I think that rather depends on what you want…” “I…” he whispered, stammering, “I want to see you in that outfit. And… and I’d like to take pictures too.” The middle-aged guy was inching closer, I think he got the gist of our conversation and wanted to listen in. “And what do you think that’s worth?” I asked. “Another twenty quid?” “Just for a picture of me in this outfit?” “Well… maybe more than one…? And what if you took off the outfit too?” “That’ll cost you more…” “Uh. OK.” “And no touching.” “How much more?” I had to do some quick mental maths. If I played this well, I might end up having the rent to pay at the end of the week.. It is exactly 5:00 AM. Morning has broken, like the first morning. Gently, I escape from the arm and find the bottom of my grunge suit: Above Sea Level jammie bottoms enclosing soiled Calvin Klein boxers. Now I examine the creature which has been sharing my futon. It has blue hair and its tongue has a peculiar metal growth in the shape of a playboy bunny, the uses of which seem emblazoned on my psyche. The creature is quite beautiful, of quite questionable legality and wearing my red-and-green plaid pajamas. It’s smiling and seems harmless for the moment. I find my slippers. There’s a note-pad on my desk with the following inscriptions: ‘Asperger’s Sydrome, Lie Detector Test, When is my trial?’ ‘Shit,’ I say out loud. I open the fridge, which has exactly and only the items I’m looking for: orange juice, eggs, cheese, bacon, half-and-half, and coffee. Ja provides, I start the kettle. I get on the internet and check my e-mail. There’s a letter from Black Sheep Publishing House,.
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