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He said, “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!”The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity.”The man said, “I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”The preacher said, “No shit?”WEDNESDAYBrenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”DO NOT LAUGHTHURSDAYOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent. “WOW! That,s the sort of treat I love! Do you always swallow?” “Of Course! Not much point in sucking you off if I Didn,t swallow! I know guys love to be swallowed and I Love the taste of fresh cum so it wouldn’t,t be fair not to! It also saves me refusing to have a penis put in my vagina which won,t happen till someone puts a ring on this finger!” She pointed to her ring finger. “If youndon,t like that sling your hook!” We were both fairlyntired so I bought us another cold drink and we actually watched some of the Scandinavian travel documentary which was now n screen. “You,ll be pleased to,know that my Mum has invited you to supper tomorrow night.” “Wow! What,s on the menu?” “Roast Beef, potatoes, peas, Yorkshire puddings with gravy on and trifle for dessert.” “Sounds delicious, but what,s a trifle.” “Trust me it,s real yummy.” “ as long as we watch Mum and my nana,s favourite soap,opera Coronation Street on tv we,ll be free to listen to records on my record player for an hour or so.
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