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You don’t believe what I say. You’ve been having therapy. Tomorrow night we begin some different therapy.’ I groaned. Therapy was the excruciatingly hard work at the rehab centre twice a week, and self-inflicted for the rest of the time. It hurt like hell and wore me out. ‘Don’t knock my therapy until you’ve tried it!’ she said smiling as she left for work. That night she arrived at the flat in her raincoat. It was April. When she took it off, which unusually she did in front of me, she revealed what she was wearing underneath. Not much as it happened. Her hair was piled high on her head. She wore a tee shirt with a deep ‘V’ at the front which was cropped to finish just under her breasts. It was sheer, silky, semi-transparent red material and under it, quite visible, was a black half-cup, ‘push-up’ bra. Her navel was pierced, her skin toned and her waist exquisitely shaped — those smooth curves! The pleated micro-skirt was just long enough to cover her behind. No stockings or tights. His voice sounded old. It wasn’t that he was aged, which he was, but that he sounded… old. That sound of frailty when one surrenders to the ravages of time. The sound of defeat, of powerlessness. I stood before my closet door, my fingertips lightly touching the panel before me, but I didn’t open the door. I heard him shuffle away, and I felt relief. Next week. I’m just too busy today. He’ll understand. I frowned, Why does it feel like cheating? I turned back to my clothes, and struggled once again to find the right outfit. None of them were ‘me’ today. Why was I so indecisive? Why couldn’t I just be me? But I knew the answer, though I’d been skirting it. I looked in the mirror, stared at my naked perfection, my alabaster flesh canvased over statuesque grace, and I said it. “It’s because you’re not dressing for you, Leveria. Why the fuck are you dressing for her?!” I growled and spun away, frustrated nearly to the point of tears. This was all wrong! I should’ve been in complete.
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