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A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.Okay, so I was home alone with. "I'd go for a piece that that ass over there in a flash! But, you know Sue's a good mother to the kids and everything."The waitress came by with their beers. "That'll be six dollars gents. Who's paying?" I am," Owen said, and slid his chair away from the table. "Here's a ten, but you gotta sit on my lap if you want it."She turned her back to him and sat on his lap, putting her arm around his shoulder."Okay, where's my tip?" Here," Owen said and slid the ten down her cleavage."Now, before you leave," Owen said, "what's on the lunch menu today, honey?"Duane and Owen gave the waitress their lunch order. She got up from Owen's lap and headed off to the kitchen.Owen left on his regional sales route after lunch. His route kept him away from home about 20 days each month.Three weeks later, Owen returned to the office late in the afternoon and stopped into Duane's office.Duane looked up as Owen dropped his customer orders on Duane's desk.Duane picked up the pack of orders and shuffled.
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