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It looked like he'd be living the life for some time. It almost looked like he was going to enjoy this.Then, reality set in. As he was being moved into position and the traction was being set up, he realized how trapped he really was. Though he could see how beautiful it was outside, he couldn't enjoy it fully. Though the TV was there, there weren't any daytime shows he was interested in seeing. He was now stuck in his room for several weeks. Further reality hit him when he realized he had to use the restroom ... and he wasn't going to be able to walk in there. That's when he noticed the bedpan and his face turned a deep crimson. He was mortified at the thought of his mother having to empty a bedpan.He groaned and his mother leaned over to see what was wrong. He was too embarrassed to tell her and just mumbled that he didn't like being stuck inside.It was at that point that the doorbell rang.Paul heard his mother's voice as she welcomed someone into their home. Her voice got louder. ” Penny sat there a few moments looking at me, watching, waiting I think to see if I would say something or indicate what was on my mind. And yes, there were things on my mind, so many things. Where to begin? Finally the biggest thought pushed the others aside, insecurities. “Penny… I had in my mind, the understanding that Maggie and yourself were going to teach me things to help me with… well… my self confidence I guess.” I paused trying to align my scattered thoughts into a question. “Go on.” Penny softly encouraged me to continue with my train of thought. “It seems that the more I learn, the more it keeps coming back to trust and insecurities…” I took a deep breath and frowned, not sure if I really knew how to put what I was trying to say into words. “Insecurities are… fear… fear of being judged, fear of being made fun of… fear of making mistakes.” I felt that tingle run up the back of my spine from another piece of the puzzle of life falling into.
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